A few days
ago, this article showed up in a Facebook friend’s newsfeed.
Go ahead
and give it a read, we’ll wait.
...
Back? Okay then.
We’ll begin at the beginning, and go on ‘til we come to the end, then
stop.
First off,
“I can’t believe I used the word boobs
in the title of this post”? Yes, you
can. You can believe it quite easily and
completely because it was a deliberate attempt to drive traffic to your
blog. I know this because it’s the same
reason I used the word “tits” in the title of my blog post. The Internet
has scienced this thoroughly and concluded that posts with titles that contain
any alternate word for “breasts” receive approximately 317% more views than all
other posts. You know that as well as I
do, so please stop dissimulating like a nine-year-old who just dropped her
first f-bomb on the playground. We don’t
write blog posts so no one will read them.
Own your words. Oh, and FYI,
“boobs” in that context belongs in quotes, not italics.
Second, stretch
khakis should not be a sin. I don’t know
about your ass, but mine is pretty big.
I need stretch pants. They are the only pants that fit me properly
and still allow me to move. And “hot”
never needs to be spelled with a
double T. In any context. Ever.
But enough
with the nitpickery, and on to the real topic at hand.
Your first
concern is whether or not your husband is looking at the bodies of other
women. Well, allow me to put that
concern to rest for good and all by assuring you that yes, he absolutely is.
Your next
concern is whether or not he is sometimes comparing you to these other women,
and I can give you the same assurance.
Yes, he absolutely is.
Now, before
anyone goes too far down the “holy shitstacks what a heartless twat throwing
this woman’s insecurities back in her face like that I’m not reading any more of
this cruel fuckery” path, please read just a bit more to see if I can’t redeem
myself by letting you in on a little secret.
You know
who else is looking at other women, and even occasionally comparing his life
partner to them? Brad Pitt.
Yes. Not even Angelina Jolie, arguably one of the
most beautiful creatures the universe has ever seen fit to create, is an
exception to this very simple rule. The
rule is, everybody looks. Which, by the way, also means that Brad Pitt
isn’t an exception either, because Angelina Jolie is looking too.
Everybody looks.
So when you make statements like “my husband was in solitary confinement
from social media for two days to protect his eyes and heart” what you’re
really saying is “my husband took drastic action in the hope of making me
believe something completely unrealistic, which is that he would never ever as
long as we both shall live ever look at another woman with anything even
vaguely resembling a lustful thought in his head”. Which is, in a word, bullshit.
You say you’re
“fighting for your marriage”. May I
suggest, as one human being to another, that you fight for a marriage built on
realism and truth rather than escapist techniques and impossibilities?
My guy and
I have been together for going on seven years now. He looks at photographs of beautiful women all the time. Of course, part of that is because he’s a
photographer, but while he could just as easily pick up lighting ideas and
various other stylistic whatnotteries from photos of things other than
beautiful women, most of the time he doesn’t.
Because in addition to being a photographer, he’s a guy who likes
looking at beautiful women.
Women who
are a lot younger than my 44 years. Women
who are a lot more boobacious than my B cup.
Women who are a lot taller than my 5’ 3”, and a lot blonder and a lot
less asstastic and and and and and. I
could go on for a day and a half about all the things I’m not and still not
finish the list. But what I am is the woman he comes home to every
day, and falls asleep next to every night.
And would I
be surprised if someone told me he was cheating? No.
I would be
shocked. And demand proof of his
supposed crimes against our relationship.
And if you showed me a picture of him shirtless on a bed with a naked
woman, and he said “oh yeah, that was a light check, the stand-in flaked” I
would accept that without question. You
show me photographic evidence of actual intromission, and I will have
questions. Until then, I trust two
things; he’s going to look, and he’s not going to act.
And so am
I.
And that is how things work in the real
world.
Your
husband is going to look at other women, he is sometimes going to compare you
to other women, and he is sometimes even going to think about other women while
he’s having sex with you. That’s just
how it is. The difference between a
healthy relationship and one that you should probably get the hell out of
immediately is that he is occasionally thinking about other women while he’s
with you, rather than occasionally thinking about you while he’s with other
women.
And you’re going to do the same.
I already know that you, as someone who feigned shock at her own use of
the word “boobs” in a post title, will deny this up to and with your dying
breath, but you’re not fooling anyone.
But you know what? Fooling other
people isn’t anything you should be worried about. Fooling yourself, on the other hand, that’s
where you start to have a problem.
Oh, and
please don’t call me “love” unless you actually know me, or you’re from
somewhere in the UK
and have the accent to back it up.