Like everyone else, I have my bad days. Days when everything is just wrong, when nothing seems to want to function properly or go as planned. Days when very little can convince me that the best possible course of remedial action doesn’t involve vodka, a 20 lb sledgehammer and ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ at full volume.
Fortunately for me, my neighbors and my furniture, there are some things I know I can count on to improve even the worst of bad days. Laughter, as they say, is the best medicine, and Life’s Pharmacy has seen fit to grant me unlimited refills on the following prescriptions:
Despicable Me was the first, and to date the only, movie I have ever preordered on DVD. I was not going to risk it being sold out during the holiday rush. I had to have it. When I saw it for the first time, this scene
triggered an almost painful laughing fit that didn’t end until three days later. It made sleeping difficult, but I didn’t care.
The Minion je ne sais quoi flowers subtly and gracefully from the soil of a simple truth; if something can make you happy once, there is no reason it can’t continue to make you happy, repeatedly, indefinitely.
I think there’s a lesson in that for all of us.
ALLIE BROSH’S TALES OF SIMPLE DOG
My singling out of the Simple Dog posts is not intended to, nor should it, deter you from reading everything else on Hyperbole and a Half. Everything. Every word. As soon and quickly as possible. Your boss will understand. I promise.
But even in that, the veritable sea of brilliance that is the 70% better and funnier than the rest of the world that Allie Brosh insists on being, the stories of Simple Dog shine a like beacon of awesome. From a lighthouse of awesome. Standing on an island comprised of millions of individual grains of unmitigated awesome.
Each in the shape of this dog.
DOGS DON'T UNDERSTAND BASIC CONCEPTS LIKE MOVING
WILD ANIMAL (THE SIMPLE DOG GOES FOR A JOYRIDE)
CHEEZ-ITS IMMATURE CHEESE
I... don’t know. Don’t ask, because I do not know.
But these get me every time.
AWKWARDLY-PROPORTIONED YOUNG ANIMALS
Particularly baby wiener dogs
but just about any animal that has yet to grow into itself will usually do it.