Friday, January 21, 2011

How Self-Centered Bastards are Ruining the Special Olympics

If you’ve been on the internet for longer than five minutes, it’s likely that you are at least aware of, if not familiar with, a satiric entity operating under the title of President of The Great State of MANtana, EP for short. If you are not, EP is an abrasive, foul-mouthed, mercilessly misogynistic bigot blowhard who has never been and will never be wrong about anything, ever. Just ask him.

In short, he is not just anti-PC. He is The Anti-PC.

Last year, EP led a team called ‘Retards Helping Retards’ to raise funds for the Special Olympics Virginia Polar Plunge Winter Festival. And was resoundingly called out for his insensitivity, told what a terrible person he was, harangued for besmirching the image of the event, and... oddly enough, not stopped from handing over all the funds he had raised.

Over the course of the past four years, EP has besmirched the image of the Special Olympics to a tune in excess of $10,000. And now he’s doing it again. In just the few days that his fundraiser has been active at, he has raised over $600 on his page alone, with other team member’s pages bringing the total of besmirchment to well over $1000. The bastard just won’t stop.

He will, however, compromise. Since last year’s team name of ‘Retards Helping Retards’ was deemed so offensive by the event powers that be, this year’s MANtana fundraiser is operating as the ‘2011 Fucktards Helping Retards Campaign’. So congratulations, PC Police, looks like you... won.

Please give yourselves a hearty pat on the back. From the comfort of your well-heated cubicles and living rooms. While your nemesis is quite literally freezing his nuts off jumping into the Atlantic. In February. Early February. Because, clearly, that’s just what self-centered assholes who hate disabled children do to prove a point. The point being that there is nothing you can do to stop some people from besmirching your events.

But fear not. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that you will have another chance to try to stop him again next year. It’s really only a matter of how much money he’ll raise for you before you do.



  1. Yep, that's nekkid. Nice. Oh, you blog too...?

  2. Yes, but not usually naked. It gets cold in my office, and the upholstery on my desk chair is a bit rough.

  3. Striking a blow for fucktards everywhere!

  4. I can't believe these fucktards have the audacity to be non pc while raising money for charity!! Did you hear about their breast cancer awareness walk?

  5. Yes, and I've no doubt they were crass enough to actually refer to them as "bewbies" or even, God forbid, "tits", gloating with every step while they were walking all those miles. Some people just have nothing better to do with their limited spare time.

  6. I know! What is this world coming to, when actions matter more than words? We should really write a letter to someone about that.

  7. Gotta love EP. If I were him, I'd ask for my $$$ back....

  8. Long Live The Great State of MANtana