I know
there is stupid crap that drives me absolutely insane while seeming to not
bother anyone else on the planet. I get
that. I really do. But there are some
things that I CAN’T believe are just me.
And one of
those things is photos of models with their garter clasps flailing in the
breeze. Because they’re called garter clasps for a reason. That reason is, they are meant to clasp
things. Specifically, stockings. They are not meant to just hang there. That’s why most of them are detachable, so
that one is not obligated to wear stockings every single time one chooses to
wear a particular piece of lingerie that happens to have included garter
clasps.
This
evening’s mail included the Spring catalog from Frederick’s
of Hollywood. Frederick’s
has been a significant line item in my monthly budget for longer than I care to
admit. The IT guys at Fredericks.com
recognize my ISP address on sight. I
look forward to my Frederick’s catalogs the way most people look forward to
weekends, or dessert; something I know I can count on to occur regularly in my
life, but that still gives me a happy every time it does.
So imagine
my frustration when I opened the latest catalog and, before I even turned three
pages, I saw this:
Two more
pages, and I saw this:
Really, Frederick’s? You have been making and selling this stuff
since 1947. You are the world’s foremost
experts on the subject of trashy underwear.
As such, you are counted on to set an example.
Aesthetically,
this is no less ridiculous than models wearing jeans with the waistband
buttoned and the zipper down, or corsets with half of the center eyelets
unlaced, or bras with only one of three hooks hooked. And from a marketing standpoint, do you not
realize you’re just shooting yourselves in the non-elegantly-nylon-clad foot by
showing the products this way? Why
should women buy stockings from you when you are sending the message that it’s
perfectly all right to go without them?
Besides, it
looks much hotter
and far
less stupidly tacky
when
you do it right, doesn’t it?
(These lovely styles, and far too many others, are available at www.fredericks.com. And, you know, if you're so inclined please feel free to send gift certificates to Harlean [at] poeticpinup.com. Just sayin')
